Sunday, July 27, 2014

I do! (hmm I don't know!)

 Do you take him/her to be your wedded husband/wife, to live together in marriage?  Do you promise to love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him/her, for as long as you both shall live? I DO ! 
"I am supposed to say this, and I did. Trust me I am still not sure what exactly I am doing. But yea I do he/she is the person I have to spend my lifetime with. seriously?wait we spent a lot on the camera shoot, clothes, jewellery and make up I have to paste a smile and look good. And dear "so called society" you can enjoy the food, I still can't believe its just for this one party food and drinks you wanted me to get married!  And about the vow I just promised hmm I will try that is the best thing I can do." 

                               I belong  to a  generation where even after being in a relationship for ten years there is still a high possibility of falling out of love with your partner. For some it is a totally okay and natural process. “We knew each other almost all our lives and there was just nothing left in our relationship and we fell out of love.” Sometimes the falling in and out process continues for an innumerable number of times. And  sometimes you are done with the whole love shuv shit and yet you settle down with a complete stranger whom your parents choose for you. You marry that person not because you like him or her, not because you think one day you will love him/her but because society wanted you to get married, your parents wanted you to settle down with someone. I wonder if people could fall out of love with someone they knew since ages then how does the society expect us to spend our whole life time with a stranger? Its even easier to break away from such a relationship , you don’t even have to fall out of love.  It might sound like I am all against arrange marriages, but any day I would prefer a known devil than an unknown one. 
                               We live in a society where sometimes even your extra curricular activities are termed as creative ways of wasting time. Anything  you do that doesn’t help you in getting that rank 1 in exams is definitely waste. Since your kindergarten days you are taught of one thing Rank 1 , education  and career. That should always be your prime focus. Crushes, boyfriends , dream houses marriage these are illusions hence ought to be ignored. And one fine morning your parents feel its high time you should get married. Basically some uncle or aunty or who so ever maybe must have shared their concern that you are getting old and you are done with your education and now what should your parents be waiting for ? So all these years of hard work in school, college and office was to get married? All these years things that were never supposed to matter all of a sudden become the most important thing in life.  And if you are a girl no matter how much career oriented, ambitious and hard working you are society still expects  a man to validate your existence. Strange! All these years every time you went for a movie or anything with your best friends and if they happen to be a guy remember the look on your parents face? Your friend literally had to go through a CT scan even though you know him since ages. I wonder how all of a sudden your parents can trust you with a complete stranger specially when it concerns spending your whole lifetime with him!According to them he is a nice guy, funny part is they just know his name, the colleges he went to and wherever and whatever he is doing now. It was enough for them to brand him with a perfect son-in-law tag. All these years you keep postponing all the crazy things you wanted to do, all the places you wanted to go, all the passions you wanted to pursue to a tomorrow you were never sure would come. You were told to concentrate on your career marks degrees and then you can do whatever you wish to. And then reality knocks you down. You are asked to be practical and your so called insane ideas will never be accepted by anyone. This is the apt time to get married else you wont get a nice guy or girl later or maybe we will lose this good candidate. “candidate!” seriously? The older you become the difficult it is to find you a partner. Even people start thinking something must be wrong with you hence you are still single. Really?There is something called being single by choice, heard of it? Sometimes you compromise with your idea of life, live the way others want you to do and your dreams turn into regret. People still believe in spending more money on their daughter’s wedding rather than on her education.  She is your responsibility,  don’t make her feel like a liability.
                                   Arrange marriages are fine so far as you marry someone who can make you laugh even after being with you for 30 years and can still find your smile beautiful even when you have lost your bunny teeth. Someone who doesn’t mind living your crazy ideas which seemed insane and impractical to the whole world. I would not pay him to marry me and I am sure not a single girl in this world would want that.  Can they find such a “candidate”?  We don’t  marry just for the sake of getting married, do we?


Anonymous said...

Very well said! I come from a school of thought that says I will not marry just for the sake of marrying. It's not that I have not been in love but sometimes it just doesn't work out but that doesn't mean I'll marry just for the sake of marriage or because society thinks we should get married.

Bighnesh Ray said...

Society is riddled with examples where both schools of thought, arranged and love marriages, have conquered and failed. So there is no true formula or recipe for that perfect relationship. Hence we should all be left on our own by society(and hopefully parents :P) fall in or out of stay single or get be or not to be. ;)

Sudeshna said...

~People still believe in spending more money on their daughter’s wedding rather than on her education~

The thought itself is so absurd that I have a hearty mental laugh each time I think of it. But sadly its the reality for many. People are ready to do anything under the duress of the society, irrespective of how highly educated they are or to which social strata they belong to. All reasoning and logic vanish into thin air at the mention of marriage. The only reasonable argument that I can think - maybe it was promoted to ensure commitment cuz such high investments should be limited to once per lifetime :-p

Yog Mohanty said...

You are good,matured n sensible..looking forward to read more from you :)