I woke up this morning all smiling. It was nothing, just a message. It did not make anything all right; it was just a small favour. A kind gesture that made me smile. It made me happy. Oh yea I love him!!
I wish I could keep a count on the number of times I dial his number and disconnect it just because my hands tremble and the number of times I tell myself “just relax and take a deep breath.” I cannot ignore the butterflies in my stomach when I think of him. And once in a blue moon when his name flashes on my phone ……calling my heart skips so many beats. The only time I felt my name sounds good was the only time I heard him call my name. Sometimes he speaks and I am lost. I don’t know if his words make sense I just listen to his voice and get lost in it like a 13 year old school girl.. Maybe now I know what it means when they say “he took my breath away.” I wonder if the blind winged cupid has shot his arrow at me. I ask myself of all people why him? Why fall for someone you are not supposed to? I never knew the answer would be so simple. It is him because of what and how I feel when he is there. It is about the smile that flashes on my face when I talk to him. It is about that one short minute happiness that makes me feel life is perfect.
I wonder if he would ever think about me..What if he never finds me? Then I just smile thinking about all those small little moments that made me happy. A silent tear wets my cheek and all I say is I chose to love you in silence for in it I find no rejection. I chose to love you in your loneliness for in it no one owns you but me. You are that part of my life which will never be anything short of a dream. I might never get the chance to be together with you but I am always happy that whatever memories I have of you will always be pure and untouched.