Thursday, May 9, 2013

Much Ado About Nothing!

“Arey!!Long time! You still look the same..So when is your son getting married?”  This is definitely not something that I am going to ask a friend 30 40 years from now if I happen to bump into him or her at a shopping mall. But this is what a lady asked my mom and she happens to be my mom’s friend and I don’t know how good friends they are or rather were but definitely they had met after ages. And she continues with her blabbering “these days it is so hard to find single nice girls, every other girl has a boyfriend. So better hurry up! Find a beautiful daughter in law. But it is always a relief if your children themselves select their partners that is a relief and sometimes a headache but definitely relieves us from the headache of hunting for a well settled and educated son in law and a beautiful daughter in law. Arey she is your daughter?? She is so slim!!What does she do? When will she get married?” And the next question is directly fired at me “so you have a boyfriend?”  You seriously need a doctor dear lady! My mom answers the boyfriend query which was even more depressing “she is doing CA so no scope for a boyfriend, and a tension for me God knows when she will be completing her education and by the time she settles down don’t know what must have happened to me.”  The worst part about such a situation is you have to fake a smile and pretend as if you just love this awesome conversation. People still think our generation does not know how to start and hold a conversation. I can bet I could have had a much more sensible conversation than this. It is still acceptable for the lady mentioned above to talk about all this, she being a friend was “just curious and concerned.” But it is even worse with the ladies you come across in jewellery shops. Jewellery shops- a nightmare for me, I mean it. It is awkward when almost all the jewellery shops of the city happen to be my clients (I mean my boss’s clients ofcourse) . whenever I visit a jewellery shop with mom I am sure every damn sales person out there thinks I will be getting married in a few months time. I don’t blame them. Anyone can get that misconception by listening to the way my mom talks to me asking me which one I like most. Neither it is a book shop nor a shoe showroom why would I like any of the stuff that she shows and asks me if I like it?  Sometimes it is even worse “won’t it look good on you if you wear on your wedding?” Now when on earth am I getting married? From where did this come from? Maybe the tanishq advertisement might have made my mom think that jewellery would make me imagine my wedding. How lame! I just look at her and say “take whatever you like I am not going to wear any of that.” I see her pissed off expression to my pissed off reaction. But that reminds me of the day when I bought a hot pant and she said no matter what she would not let me wear it and go anywhere. Tit for tat! ;) Well I really never have to make a choice or say I like it because there are so many ladies out there shopping who love to give free advises. Before I can answer someone sitting next to mom would be more interested to see what we are buying leaving whatever she was trying out. “It is beautiful, are you taking it for your daughter in law? Look at this I got this long necklace for my daughter in law, the wedding will take place next month, she is in Dubai. I thought she would be getting this type of stuff so I have to exchange it for something else. I had gifted her diamond set on their engagement.” I wanted to ask her “are we getting an invitation card?’:P  Then she started blabbering tips on what to get for a daughter, daughter in law and son in law. Perhaps sons don’t wear jewellery. :P Finally when she noticed my presence there was a question so you are taking this for her wedding? “GOD!” Can’t these people think of anythingelse? :-O  Finally when I am totally pissed off I just walk out of the showroom and wait outside.
                                                                And how can we miss the family functions? Someone or the other must be getting married or maybe about to get married and somewhere it is your turn next. And then there are so many uncles and aunties who are always more concerned about us than their own children. And the funny part they see us once in a blue moon at some so called family function where we are actually forcefully dragged by our parents. “Your son has a girl friend and you don’t know??When will they get married?” Then your parents have that feeling “oh god the whole world knows and we don’t!”  I wonder why the so very confident uncles and aunties do not talk about their dear son and daughter’s love life. Not like our parents are not aware of what is cooking up in the respective uncle aunties’ chunu munu’s lives but they would never ask or talk about them.  It was even more interesting when my maid asked me when I will be completing my education and getting married. And my reply made her say “yes these days girls marry late, career is their first priority.” Even a cousin of mine told me that I should be marrying early, especially if I don’t have a boyfriend. Two years from now will be the apt age for getting married. And the reason is if you marry late you don’t get good guys, you get the left overs . What is the guarantee that you don’t get a second hand third hand or maybe a left over only even if you marry early? I mean you cannot guarantee anything. She advised me to get myself a boyfriend, so that even if I marry late I would have the best option as per my preference. Point noted. Conclusion- whatever!  I remember the first time I had cooked at home when my mom was out of the city for a few days and my granny was praising me and appreciating the little I did to a family friend and the lady just looked at me and said “what is the big deal? That is what every girl has to do after she gets married?”  Really? Is that the reason why you got married? A few kind words could have just made me happy and perhaps the next time you had visited I would have cooked something for you. But forget it you are married you can cook for yourself and eat.
                                                                Sometimes it is like you were born just to get married at some point of time. And then your parents have the feeling that it is time they should be done with their responsibility of getting you married. The sooner the better maybe..
                                                             I never grew up dreaming of a prince charming on a white horse, rather a wizard on a broomstick sipping butter beer and then it turned into a vampire on a silver Volvo exploring the world in the wink of an eye..  ;) I find it funny when couples behave stupid in a book store holding hands and the stupid mushy talks and trust me it is always the girl who behaves stupid. :P It is more fun to be a spectator to such a nuisance than playing the dumb girl holding hands and being mushy with a guy in a bookstore. (Love birds no offence intended, but kindly find a better place) So is it what my cousin meant how my life would be if I had a boyfriend? It feels better dreaming of owning a bookstore like that having all my favourite world class novels. (Don’t get me wrong I am not unromantic :P )  What exactly did she want to say that 2 years from now would be the apt age for getting married? I would not be looking that old? I can find a nice guy who is not a left out sorry left over or whatever? But who can guarantee that two years from now if at all I get married the guy would be a clean sheet I mean a prince out of fairy tale. Practically and frankly speaking it does not matter who you get married to what matters is you live happily ever after with that person. It does not matter how many girls he has dated before, what matters is I being the last. Whoever is reading this knows very well how difficult it is to get a guy like in movies “still waiting for my dream girl types” and trust me these days even if you come across such guys you end up thinking is he gay? All these years he never had a crush how is that possible? :P  And moreover it is not that easy to get a guy who will let me have a hookah bar at our place on an open terrace with Egyptian light fixtures.( I am serious!!)
Few days back a friend told me “every time I meet you, I am amused. You are so different.” I took it as a compliment and told him” yea I am different I also feel I don’t fit in anywhere.” But then I come to know by different he meant to ask if I am straight. :\ what made him raise such a doubt? He laughed and said “ almost all my friends who are of our age are either dating someone or are in a committed relationship and few have also planned up to settle down in 2 years time and here I see you single no crushes nothing.” What do I tell about my crushes, my last crush was on a hot and handsome guy who I stalked like crazy and came to know he was divorcee. :-O :P They say there is an apt age for getting married (for both a girl and a guy). Personally I believe age is just a number and in what way can a number judge your maturity? One should get married when he is ready to do so. It does not matter if he or she is 24 or 28 or even 30. I like enjoying my mud chocolate pastry alone and I would not ever like the fact that I am forced to share it with someone just because everyone believes that eating it all alone is not a good thing. Why not give me the time to get bored of eating alone? And then I might not mind sharing it with someone. When my mom asked me what I would like to wear on my wedding it irritated me maybe because I am not yet matured or ready to even think about getting married. Maybe if she had asked few years from now when I feel it is time to settle down I might have given her a list of things I would like.  Once you are done with your education and you have a job, if you are a guy you will always be asked to earn and save get yourself a house and get married. And if you are a girl work for a year or two then all your decisions will be based upon whoever you are going to marry, starting from which city you have to live in to where you have to work or maybe not work. Maybe the guy did not really want to buy a house at that point of time or maybe the girl did not want to quit her promising career. But they had to because it was the apt age according to others for settling down. But the first thing I would like to do once I complete my studies will be going down to GOA!! :D (Besties who are interested ping me after a year :P) I look forward to so many more exciting stuffs to do in my life like opening up a hookah bar(yes I know it is banned!!Does not matter I and my hubby will have it on our terrace you can join :P) , a tattoo parlour and a spa! Earning as much as possible and spending them on road trips and on travelling the whole world. Rafting, scuba diving, sky diving and so much more. And maybe writing a book on how to run a successful hookah bar and how to survive 3 years of articleship or maybe how to screw up your relatives :P I find all this more exciting than the whole idea of getting married. K
                      If our elders so much believe in the whole concept of getting married on time and everything then they should also believe in the saying that marriages are made in heaven. If they actually are made in heaven why make the whole thing complicated? When the angels in heaven are ready to sing the wedding bells will definitely ring. ;)


The West Wind said...

Good one Kanki.. Absolutely my thoughts. I go through all of this multiplied by a 100 (since I am older) :P But I am lucky enough to have a guy who is more than willing to share my crazy dreams with me :D
I loved the part about 'hookar bar'. I am a total Hookah fan.. I am goona be your permanent customer :D

sonu said...

Hookah bar in bbsr???
and ya...i totally get th..late marriage / no bf yet
.sometimes i it just me !! :P
I reaally think i sd hv been a guy ! Nobody wd hv pestered Yu for marriage at th least till u r 27 !! Hunh :/