Sunday, June 8, 2008
Diary of a young teenager
They say teenage is the most formative,delicate and difficult stage of ones life.When I was told this five years back I(like many others) paid a deaf ear to all those advises and whatever they were,but now I know how true it is.At this stage we bid farewell to our childish pranks and look forward to a life “full of life”.If you are a bit forward you are said to be impertinent and if a little backward it means you are shy.I was counted among the impertinent ones.As I grew into my teens I no longer felt a passion for my Barbie dolls,nor did I like to stay indoors.The outdoor games,adventure and risk began to attract me.If I heard any fine eloquent speech I would try to pose to be a similar speaker before the mirror.What I started disliking was the moral preaching or the fear of parents about risks in whatever decision or challenges I take.All that I wanted was freedom to live life the way I want.I always thought why do they forget their young age??havent they ever wanted to hangout with friends??go out for picnics??movies??bunking classes??havent they ever enjoyed life??why are they so selfish.I am a responsible girl.I am quite confident that I wont do any wrong thing.I wont offcourse neglect my studies.Later I came to realize that they did know where I was heading for.The reason why they always tried to be strict was that they have also gone through this phase.They knew this stage requires maximum guardianship.Another aspect of this phase of being a teenager becomes evident when I observe that during these six years-13 to 18 I had to pass through several phases.Perhaps no other phase of life shows such remarkable change within such a short span of time.An emotional overplus dominated my personality.But along with this emotional bent there grew within me a preference for reason,logic and argument.People,nay,seniors call my view adolescent,but I used to set them at naught.Sometimes I felt a sense of pride as I defeat someone in argument.School and college were so full of fun and life.If you go through any teenager’s diary I mean offcourse not “every”but maximum teenagers it all begins like this……..
“Damn excited for tomorrow its seems so boring at home gosh how many times do I have to solve the same problem.History still left soo many chapters I hate mugging up.whatever! I know I have to do it after all I want to see myself on the stage next month holding the best student trophy.BUCK UP!!!!you can do it.Just one more sleepless night and its over!!!!whippieee…looking forward to tomorrow this nightmare will be over..planning for a movie..still confused..what should I wear??which colour??hmm I guess black will be perfect…..
“Bunking classes is soo much fun…throwing water at one another..infact got punished for it...doesnt matter..I wasn’t the only one who was all my friends were punished so I don’t feel embarrassed..It was soo much fun today and I did the craziest thing ever..signed my name with my own blood!It was a kind of commitment towards my gang.Each one of us did that God knows whose idea it was but it was copied from the adventures of Huckleberry Finn...I never cared to find out whose idea it was because I really liked doing it..sounds strange naa??well we made two new rules
RULE 1-dont trust boys
RULE 2-dont trust current!heehee"
“Friends! life would have been so boring without them..those silly mischiefs,commenting on others(at times teachers),spending sleepless nights on phone calls,and sleeping in classrooms,.those tangy mangy crushes on pals,teasing about each other..bunking classes,hanging around in the shopping malls(window shopping most of the time),coffee shops,ice cream parlours,those sleepovers at friends places,movies,salsa dance,pillow fighting,and lots more…spending sleepless nights during exams,a support for each other,few words of encouragement,and finally when theres a feeling that nothing can be done just the night before exams what can b done!!the same dialogue “milke fail honge”no tension lets chill out have a tight sleep..evn spending sleepless nights doesn’t help the moment we see the question paper we do tear up our hair and bite our nails.Those horrible insults in class had it not been for friends how could anyone tolerate all alone..chilling out in canteen..a shoulder to cry on,a hand across your shoulder when the whole world seems to turn away,an unexpected hug when u badly need your teddy bear which lies locked up in your bedroom at the moment,a moral support,singing at the top of our voices anywhere anytime just to be ourselves little do we realise the presence of others,who cares if they don’t like our voices!!we have no intention to join the Indian Idol after all we are singing coz we want to we are not trying to draw attention or something..like some people think ohh cmmon they are all jealous of our sweet voices..they do have problems when we shout in class cmmon that’s coz they don’t and they cant soo they get jealous…who cares!!!!fight for marks,tears for love and lots more I don’t know what people call all these I call it LIFE…life is all about cheering up living for today without being a bit concerned about whats there in store for us!
After a few months…………….
“Friendship huh!!I don’t know what it is…ya I did have many “so called friends”yet I can only name one or two when am asked to define friendship…well we did bunk classes together but when caught why was it that when I looked back only one person was standing by me to be punished..where did the rest go??and at times there are none..but we did bunk together then why was it that I was the only one who was punished??the hand which wiped away my tears few days back is the reason for this unending flood of tears today.I simply pray"God save me from my friends,i can protect myself from enemies".I remember when I was in class 2 I used to begin my essay on 'my best friend'this way-man is a social animal,he needs friends to survive in this world.But now I feel its quite strange what if your friends are the ones who make your survival difficult!The word called trust sucks!Today having faced the reality having seen the world I understand why my parents always warned me against everything.Wish I had studied a bit more,wish I had listened to my parents,wished I had not done everything that I did…feel like killing myself..having spoilt everything..I hate these years of my life.i messed up everything.I never chased my dreams.Instead wanted to chase the dream that my parents saw for me but even failed to fulfil that also.Am a worthless burden.I always lived in my world of dreams and fantasies.Never in my wildest dreams thought that something like this could ever happen to me.I don’t know what people call all these but when zapped back to reality I call it LIFE…life isn’t just a swiftly moving swing but a water coaster ride….
For the next few days you don’t talk to anyone…no friends nothing you become a victim to depression..your teddy bear n tears become your best friend….then………..
“Maybe today I am no more considered to be a brilliant student or I don’t see myself holding the trophy I used too since childhood..yet am a better person today.A much more matured,strong and responsible person.Am a better judge of character.It has made me aware of the term called real friends,relationships,given me self knowledge.Life simply wanted to test my patience.It was also a touchstone to judge true friendship.Everything happens for a reason afteral.I have seen life yet I know this isn’t the end its just the beginning a long way to goo…lots of hurdles going to come my way yet I have the courage and confidence to fight.I have learnt something a lesson which I believe life teaches almost every person someday its just that it taught me at a very tender stage where I couldn’t or did not have the ability to decide between right and wrong as a result became a victim to circumstances.My life has just started…..the war has just begun… a long way to goo…..”I dont know what people call this but I say its LIFE...
And lastly one must believe in what Shelley has quoted"If winter comes,can spring be far behind?" Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.But the lessons taught prove to be the world's best knowledge.
This phase is a remarkable landmark in man’s life.Its one of mixed blessings.But it forms an interesting period of my life,when I bid farewell to my innocent childhood days and reached out for the new,spirited and joyful things of life.I have been through ups and downs yet I have enjoyed life like anything!
TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW YOU WILL BE MORE DISAPPOINTED BY THE THINGS THAT YOU DIDN'T DO THAN BY THE ONES YOU DID DO. SO THROW OFF THE BOWLINES. SAIL AWAY FROM THE SAFE HARBOUR. CATCH THE TRADE WINDS IN YOUR SAILS. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.-MARK TWAIN
There should not be a word called regret in life's dictionary.There is always a hope for the betterment and improvement.
And there is another fact"There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.”